a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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