shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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