I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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