my sisters under your porch take her home
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
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I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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