It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
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That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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