She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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