Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She said her name was "party"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize