I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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