I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
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Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You've changed since you got that strap on
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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