So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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