She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize