I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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