Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She bit a glass in half.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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