he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize