Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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