Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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