"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize