So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize