3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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