I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize