You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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