im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize