i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize