During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
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Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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