I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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