Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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