Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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