i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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