I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize