i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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