You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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