We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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