Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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