K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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