and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize