Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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