She said her name was "party"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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