Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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