Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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