life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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