Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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