Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
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literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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