3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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