I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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