sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize