the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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