i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize