Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize