can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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