I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
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Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize